I never asked for this and neither did you

While driving home the other night, I started talking to myself, as only the smartest and most intelligent and well-adjusted and absolutely-not-crazy people do. I don’t remember exactly what I was saying, but I am sure it was witty and charming and filled with gravitas.

My car thought so, to, because SILEXA jumped out of the dashboard to ask how it could help. I ignored it (Her? Him? Does SILEXA have a gender?) and continued driving, but it reminded me to check my settings and stop the car, or maybe my phone, from eavesdropping on my most intimate conversations with myself.

It doesn’t really matter whether it was the car or the phone, though, because I never asked for this. Yes, there are times I cannot remember why I’m standing on a riverbank, wearing a tutu and holding a bloody knife, but I am sure I would remember asking my car to lend me an ear. Likewise, I know that, if someone had ever asked me if I wanted my car eavesdropping on me, just in case I needed something, I would have declined.

Add this to the list of incredible, time-saving, efficiency-building, supercharging-my-life improvements I cannot find a way to escape. I bought something from Walmart a couple of weeks ago and now I can’t get rid of a wallet app that I failed to reject. I get regular notices that I’m running out of storage in an iCloud folder I didn’t ask for. There are half a dozen sites I cannot access until I get past the pop-up that offers easy entry through my Google log-in. And my microwave won’t stop reminding me that I left the cat in there while I was taking my shower.

My doctor’s office sends me emails, but I need to log into MyChart to read them, including--really--"We are excited to let you know that we will be moving to a new office on March 31, 2026.” I needed to look up my password and wait for them to send a verification code to my phone for this? Couldn’t they just annoy me with regular emails like all my relatives do?

It's the death of 1,000 cuts, a labyrinth of obstacles and side roads that make every task just a bit slower, error-prone, and joyless. Exactly when is all this technology going to make life better?

I’m not kidding about that. I know I can get information more quickly than ever, but I’m also getting misinformation, disinformation, and scam links even faster. Every search leads to links and AI summaries that might, or might not, be accurate. I need to double check whatever I’m reading more than I did before AI started making my life easier. Net-net, am I really ahead of the game?

Not that many years ago, I could walk out the door and flag down a cab. Now, I need to have a ride-share account that’s costing me more and paying the drivers less than the system it replaced. Worse, the cab drivers actually had an idea where they were going, while all my gig-working friends are still staring at their screens after ten years as drivers. There was probably a time when I said the taxi industry couldn’t get worse. I was so very, very wrong.

I was going to write more about this subject, but my phone has been pinging like crazy while I've been typing and I'm sure it's something really, really important. I mean, nobody would be sending so many texts if it wasn't incredibly important. Right?
 
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