Maybe she's in a cult?

A costume isn't always a costume and doctors are never satisfied, or at least that's the zeitgeist for this week:

• My server was wearing all black, monster ears, and some kind of bat-like tiara, so I thought about complimenting her on her Halloween costume. Then I realized this might just be how she expresses herself all the time, so I’ll wait and see if she’s dressed the same way in November.
  
• Can we stop pretending that “customer service” bots are a way to reduce costs? The bots merely transfer costs from the provider to the customer, who needs to spend added time listening to prerecorded blather and yell “agent” 20 times until the bot gets the message. Getting rid of the human beings who answer the phone adds to the total cost of every business relationship and damages those relationships along the way.
• I haven’t listened to any new music for about 30 years now, which is making me worse and worse at both Jeopardy and the NYTimes crossword, but that’s the only place it makes any difference. Whenever I’m in an elevator or a grocery store or a doctor’s waiting room, I still feel au courant. It’s really the only time the world gives me a fist bump, but I’ll take it.
• Money’s been tight lately, but I’ve figured out how to keep seeing great shows at local theaters. I just sneak in as everyone is coming back from intermission and nobody checks for tickets before the second act. It’s working like a dream, but could someone explain to me what that Hamlet guy was so upset about?
• I’ve never had a doctor who thinks I’m doing okay with my routines. I say I’m eating fish twice a week and they tell me to make it three. I say I’m getting eight hours of sleep and they tell me to shoot for nine. Last week, I told my doctor I was exercising seven days a week and he told me to make it eight. To tell the truth, I don’t think they’re really listening.
  
• I was walking past the park the other night and I was jolted by the metallic sound of swings hinging back and forth. That’s the sound of nostalgia, now that the grandkids are too old for me to push them, and it recalled one more chapter that’s already closed. As if I needed a reminder: Don’t blink.
• We hardly need to remind you that today is the 100th anniversary of everything that happened on this date 100 years ago today. Be sure to honor the people who gave/did/fought/ran/overindulged on this day by observing it respectfully/happily/solemnly. And don’t forget, tomorrow it will happen again.
• The woman sitting next to me on the plane recommended a restaurant called Las Salivas, which seemed like an odd name to me, but what do I know? Maybe the food’s so good it makes you drool or something. Turns out, she was talking about Los Olivos and I should be sure to ask people to spell things in the future.

 
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