Why can't my friends be exactly like me?

There was this guy who I liked a lot who gave me a major boost in life, and then he screwed me royally and sent me on a major downward spiral. I miss him a lot, and I resent him like crazy, without any contradiction in having both emotions at the same time.

There’s a guy I like a lot, although we disagree on almost everything and he has a tendency to lecture me about my lapses in judgment. Actually, there are a bunch of guys like that. Some think I’m too liberal and some think I’m too conservative and all of them know I’d be better off if I recognized the truth that only they possess and follow their lead. 

Relationships are complicated that way.

We all have somebody in our lives, most likely several somebodies, who give and take, build and destroy, advance and retard. People will ask why we still engage with them and we’ll shrug and say there’s more positive than negative. At the same time, people will ask why they still engage with us and they’ll shrug and say there’s more positive than negative. And we’ll both be right about that balance.

We forgive their trespasses and they forgive ours, because that’s what it takes to maintain a relationship. We tell the critics they don’t really know the person, when in fact they do, just as we do, and we let it go. We’ll save our vitriol and condemnation for some stranger who uses the wrong word in a post, because that’s who we are now, but we’ll let it slide for the people who make us laugh or make us feel safe or, at least, share some of their fries.

Nothing’s going to change, at least 99.99% of the time, because we’re all human and have our opinions and we’ve mostly given up on the idea of bringing the other person into the light. And we live with it, or else we would have no friends at all. Because, let’s face it, we can’t find people who agree with us about everything, even if we dive into the deepest silo.

Still, it does happen from time to time that an opinion changes and a position shifts. It’s seldom a U-turn, but no less real. The other guy is suddenly saying things closer to your view of the world and, while they’ll deny it, they’re finally, finally listening to reason. Yes, it’s rare, but it’s oh, so rewarding. Maybe they’ve grown as a human being, maybe my incredible wisdom is sinking in, maybe I’ve started a ripple effect that will change the world.

And maybe I’m kidding myself. You never know. In the meantime, maybe they’ll share some of their fries.

Just in case one of these unnamed people decides to save the world and gives me 100% credit for their transformation, you’ll want to be a subscriber who hears about it right away. Just click here to make it so.
 
 
 

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