One of the guys who used to work for me turned out to be the world’s most obsessive clock-watcher. If I asked him to come in for a discussion at 4:45, he’d begin squirming and glancing at the clock before 4:46. And I’m not talking about someone casually checking the time; this guy couldn’t sit still for a moment as he focused on the approaching hour. One day, I had to catch the 5:30 train on the way to a parent-teacher conference or something and we ended up on the same bus. I was already ticked at the work he hadn’t finished and the extra time I was needing to put in to keep the clients satisfied, but he was simply delighted to note that we were “a couple of Type As heading home.” Two days later, I fired him. He was surprised, of course, because he thought he was doing great. In spite of frequent meetings and prodding to get the work out on time, he left people hanging and caused extra challenges for everyone on the team. The only deadline he could meet was the 5:30 train whistle. Still, everyone is a hero in their own story. Whether you’re a cop in Uvalde or a Type A on a bus, you’re the story of America, the strong and capable leader who rises to the occasion. At least you know you would rise to the occasion if it presented itself, so you’re already a hero without having to do the work. It’s like giving yourself a participation trophy without showing up to participate. I’m not saying we’re way too easy on ourselves these days, but, wait, yes, I’m absolutely saying we’re way too easy on ourselves these days. We forgive ourselves for everything, or we would if we ever entertained the idea that we have any flaws. We’re late because we there was too much traffic, not because we left too late to allow for traffic. We got fat because the food companies hid so much sugar in our Twinkies, not because we ignored the label and ate a dozen in one sitting. We can’t afford a vacation because plane fares are too high, not because we’re spending $700/month on streaming. We’re all victims of the powers that be, including the hidden, secret cabals who conspire endlessly to stymie our advancement. I guess it’s liberating in a way, but it's also a bit of infantilizing we do to ourselves. I’ve always been self-aware enough to recognize when I’ve screwed up, even if it isn't the most comfortable feeling. I don’t have to look far for the person who’s causing me so much grief because it’s almost always me. It’s depressing, at times, to recognize how often I have built my own guillotine, but it’s oddly empowering. If I’m the one who caused the problem, I can be the one to fix it. If I’m the victim of unknown and unseen powers, I can’t make any progress. I’m stuck until they let me go. Worse, I can’t even ask them to set me free when I don’t really know who they are or what they want with me. That’s the choice, really: to shoulder the burden while retaining our sense of control or to reject our culpability by denying our own agency. We can be the heroes in our stories, but only if we give up our super powers. Next time I screw up really badly, probably in the next day or two, I’ll tell our subscribers all about it. Click here and you won’t miss a single hilarious setback.
6 Comments
Charles
2/25/2024 10:16:19 am
Well stated and well reasoned - love this piece!
Reply
Dad Writes
2/25/2024 03:36:00 pm
Thanks much.
Reply
David Brimm
2/25/2024 10:45:25 am
So glad the power hasn't gone to your head. Stay humble.
Reply
dad writes
2/25/2024 03:36:36 pm
It's easy, since I have so many things to be humble about.
Reply
Mary Davison
2/25/2024 11:08:41 am
I, too, love this. Well thought out, stated and explained. I'll be sharing this for certain.
Reply
dad writes
2/25/2024 03:37:15 pm
Thanks very much.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Who writes this stuff?Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him. Archives
January 2024
Categories
All
|