Leaning in to the boycott market, the new biggest lies in business, and the Olympic sport where I’d win gold…among other ramblings this week.
We’re all about giving you more of what you want at Dad Writes and we’ll be serving you even better if you click here to subscribe. In complete candor, though, there won’t be any check in the mail.
Tax time is just around the corner and, once again, Dad Writes is here to save our readers $trillions in unnecessary payments to the evil jackbooted thugs at the Internal Revenue Service.
Don’t be intimidated by the impenetrable forms and rules that the government puts out to cower us into compliance, and ignore all the so-called “experts” like “certified” public accountants. We’re just as certifiable as any of them and we know what the mainstream media won’t tell you.
Everyone knows there are two sets of rules in terms of tax liability. One is for the poor schlubs who pay all the bills and the other is for the ultra-rich, the people who can afford yachts and islands and an entire Disney+ bundle. The ultra-rich have their own tax code, which is how they pay 0.07% of their income in taxes while the rest of us are tossing back a quarter for every buck we earn. Never fear, though, because there are plenty of special tax tricks for regular folks, if you know where to look.
We hacked the IRS system, or, um, we heard from a friend of a friend that someone else—not us—might have hacked into the IRS system, and we might have found some super-secret tax breaks just lying on the street. Yes, that’s it. But now that we found those tax breaks, quite by accident and with no hacking whatsoever, we are exercising our First Amendment Rights to share them with our readers.
For instance, did you know…
There’s much more, of course, including the special tax credit for defaulting on your student loans, the 150% deduction for hosting a banned book bonfire, and the always popular “cash receipts” switcheroo. Unfortunately, we can’t divulge all the secrets here, so you’ll have to ask your tax professional about those other tax-saving techniques.
We’re not allowed to disclose how many trillions of dollars our subscribers have saved by following our unique tax advice, but let’s just say it’s well worth the price of clicking here to subscribe.
Microwave potatoes, the heroism of Jimmy Buffett, and all the progress we haven’t made, among other blips rattling around my brain this week:
Also, whatever you do, be sure to click here to subscribe to Dad Writes, just in case I ever figure out what that dictated text meant.
Who writes this stuff?
Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him.