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And get off my lawn, you rotten kids

1/13/2019

4 Comments

 
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​Some days, you just marvel at how crotchety you’ve become, although in my case there has been a veritable landslide of provocation behind my agitation.  To wit…

  1. The other day I deleted an ad from Facebook and got the message: “Thanks for your feedback! Your response will help us show you better ads.” Because I was worried I wasn’t seeing the best ads possible.
  2. Whoever invented speed bumps should be tied to the bottom of a sports car chassis…
  3. Unless you’re planning to put a Jumbotron on your ass, could you just sit down and let the rest of us watch the game?
  4. I generally oppose capital punishment, but when it comes to the engineers who decided everything in my house needs to beep, I’ll make an exception.  
  5. I spend way too much of my life listening to updates about a person I met once, or maybe not at all, who is a third cousin of another person I met once, or maybe not at all, who is now a success/failure/movie star/governor/dead. As you would expect, I cannot wait to hear what happens next.  
  6. How hard should it be to unsubscribe? One site asks for a password, others ask me to prove I'm not a robot, and others leave about four inches of white space to scroll past before you come to the unsubscribe line. Because they think all this aggravation will make me decide I love the site after all. 
  7. Air travel must be getting increasingly popular, since I invariably end up boarding behind people who are taking their first flight. 
  8. And while we’re on the topic of transportation, it turns out that hundreds of people in Illinois have been given death sentences recently. I know, because I end up behind them while they are driving to their executions.
 
End of rant, at least for now. Stay tuned for the next time I’m really cranky.

BTW, I get really cranky when people fail to subscribe to our weekly outbursts.  You can help me become a much better and reduce my need for meds, simply by  clicking on this link and signing up for our weekly posts. 

4 Comments
Betsy
1/13/2019 05:04:42 pm

Loved this one! OOO if i had time, I'd add to your list..but nothing I write would be as funny as what you write!!

Reply
Mike
1/13/2019 08:22:52 pm

Shocked to see that such a nice, date I say, genteel individual could have so much latent anger. How do you know the person you are driving behind isn’t in fact driving to their execution?

Breathe Michael Breathe! 😇

Reply
Sue Katte
1/14/2019 09:15:26 am

Laughed so hard, I woke up the dog! This was one of your best and you've had some gems! Don't you ever run out of witty, relatable, snarky observations? Please pace yourself for future generations!

Reply
David Brimm
1/14/2019 02:40:11 pm

Glad to see old age hasn't mellowed you!

Reply



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    Who writes this stuff?

    Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him. 

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