Avoid the Platinum Rule. Cabbage, too.

​The true test of friendship, a double standard for sympathy, and our gassy Founding Fathers are all featured in this week’s observations, written specifically for you…
 

1. We all have unresolved issues with pretty much everyone we know and we have the most issues with the people we know best. By the time we learn to love someone, we really, really hate them.          
2. By the time you realize it’s your life goal to be a trust-fund baby, you’re too late.
3. If you have a friend who is very concerned about you when things go badly and just a trifle jealous when you’re doing well, you don’t have a friend.
4. Many people I know have great sympathy for the poor in other countries, but they dismiss the poor in this country as lazy, dishonest leeches. I'm wary about asking them why they feel that way.
5. Maybe it’s the result of memorizing names and dates in grade school, but we tend to look at historical figures as if they were two-dimensional drawings. In reality, the world we live in today was shaped by their daddy issues, who bullied them in third grade, and flatulence.
6. The Platinum Rule is pretty dumb. Do unto others as THEY would have you do unto them? Crazy. Suddenly, you’re being held hostage by a jerk who’s never satisfied, while you could be making more reasonable people happy.
7. Rule Number 1: There is always a camera.
8. If you didn’t care how you looked while you were in the store, why are you suddenly so focused on adjusting your eyeliner while I'm waiting for your parking space?

Did I mention flatulence?
 
There was a time when you could put yourself through college by selling subscriptions door to door, but those days are long gone. Today, even the most valuable of subscriptions can be obtained online, such as the absolutely free portal presented by this link. No, the link just before this sentence. If you’re clicking here, you’ve gone too far.  

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