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Better late than ever

8/11/2019

5 Comments

 
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I know a number of people who never want to be early for anything, and they drive me crazy. (Okay, it’s more a putt than a drive, but it pushes my buttons either way.)
 
The people I am talking about—and they know who they are—seem to view punctuality as a power struggle. They believe the person who arrives first has the most free time and, therefore, is least important. The person who is last to arrive finds everyone else waiting for him, which means HE is the most important. Everyone else has lost status while he was texting in the driveway.
 
This is actually a cultural protocol in some nations, especially in business meetings, so I see the point about status, but I’m happy to give the power to whomever needs it most. If someone feels special because I am waiting for them, that’s my no-cost gift to their egos. If they get off on the idea that I’m anxiously longing for their arrival, I’m happy to bring joy to their (terribly insecure) lives.
 
My own view of time is not quite so hierarchical, and I find it very helpful to arrive early.

When I get somewhere ahead of schedule, I can stop in at the men’s room to see if I’m having a bad hair day or if I’m suffering from booger droop. I can check my notes to remind myself why I am here, or I can find out whether Beyonce liked my like on Insta. If it’s a social event, I get to spend more time with friends, shoveling, um, wisdom on them from the moment the bar opens until they’re stacking the chairs.

Mostly, I like being early because it lets me finish early, which I think of as highly efficient and productive. If we can start 15 minutes ahead of schedule, we can finish early, as well, and I can free up more time to watch Jeopardy!. (I feel so much smarter now that James is gone.)

Yes, there are those unfortunate days when I arrive a half hour early and my interlocutor is 20 minutes late and I run out of posts to like or BREAKING NEWS!!! from CNN. By the time the meeting begins, I’m feeling like a real putz for cooling my heels for almost an hour, and I have no doubt that the person I am meeting feels the same way about me.

Of course, if I was really worried about other people’s disapproval, I’d never venture out of the apartment and I’d hide in the closet when the Grub Hub guy shows up with my donuts. But I am braver than that, ready to put myself out there and risk being thought of as less important than the alpha in the room.
 
If I’m ever an hour early, though, I think I’ll just spend some time loitering in the men’s room. As regular readers know, that’s always a source of mirth.
 
Just to prove how important you are to the team at dadwrites, today’s post is being released one hour early. Yes, it has been waiting for you because you are the most important person in the universe. We never want to keep you waiting for our posts, so we hope you’ll subscribe here to receive our missives without ever needing to wait.


5 Comments
Sue Katte
8/11/2019 10:49:22 am

After your reading your post today, I actually arrived 9 minutes early at church and people believed they were witnessing a miracle! :)

Reply
Lawrence Okrent
8/11/2019 03:59:16 pm

Punctuality is my religion.

Reply
Dadwrites
8/19/2019 10:48:10 am

I feel like a heathen for responding so slowly, but thanks for the note.

Reply
David Brimm
8/12/2019 06:24:05 pm

My mother instilled in us a morbid fear of being late for any occasion. However, this did not stop my mother from arriving an hour early to meals we prepared, which drove my wife crazy.

Reply
Dadwrites
8/19/2019 10:49:50 am

We probably need to address the obscenely early folks in a later post. I have had people arrive when I was still in the shower.

Reply



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    Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him. 

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