CV Diary 15: The tipping point and the point of tipping

​

---

After couple of months of tipping people 50% to deliver my pizza and toilet paper, I’m reconsidering the entire concept of tipping. Why am I tipping some service providers but not others, and when did a lagniappe become a requirement? For example:

1. Why am I expected to give a tip to the person who hands me my coffee at Starbucks, but not the person who hands me my coffee at McDonald’s? Seriously hoping I didn’t open a can of worms with this question.
   
   
2. If tipping is a reward for good service, shouldn’t I be tipping the person as an incentive before I get served? Afterwards, it’s too late to make a difference, right?
   
   
3. Sometimes, I get really bad service and I still leave a tip, because I know the server is so bad she won’t make enough money to pay her rent. Does this make me a philanthropist or a schmuck?
   
   
4. The server comes to our table about 20 times to take and deliver our orders, refill the water, and convince us to order desserts we don’t need. She earns about $3 for her efforts until I decide if I’m going to leave a tip or not. This is clearly a job for daredevils.
   
   
5. By what percentage do you reduce a tip when:
   
   *  The cab driver is on the phone, speaking in a foreign language, while looking at you in the rear-view mirror and smirking?
   
   *  You have to get up and walk over to the coffee machine for a refill?
   
   *  They give you the wrong entrée and then it takes five minutes before you can flag someone down?
   
   *  You have to wait 25 minutes for your luggage at the hotel?
   
   
6. Servers who work for tips are absorbing some of the risk for restaurant owners, because they get paid very little when the place is empty. Since they’re taking an “ownership risk,” shouldn’t they get a share of the profits when the place is busy?
   
   
7. When you give money to a panhandler, is that a tip for their “service” of making you feel better about yourself? And if so, shouldn’t it be a deductible medical therapy expense?
   
   
8. In some Chicago restaurants, the bill includes a 3% surcharge for employee health care. Am I supposed to be happy to see that the owner is paying anything at all, or should I be ticked that he wants me to pitch in as well? 

Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that nobody in a position of authority chooses to work for tips. Maybe there’s a lesson here, if only I could figure out the hidden meaning.
 
 
Subscribing to Dad Writes is almost like giving me a tip, except it doesn’t cost you anything and you don’t even need to enjoy the experience in order to do it. Just click here to sign up and I will feel fully compensated.