Dad Writes
  • Home | Dad Writes
  • What's Your Story?
  • Fun is Good!
  • Blog
  • Subscribe

Emmy voters will snub the most deserving...again

9/20/2019

4 Comments

 
Picture
In a travesty that is repeated every year without fail, the television industry will bestow its Emmy Awards on Sunday without a single acknowledgement of the most deserving performers in the entertainment industry. I’m calling for a boycott of the event until its leaders atone for this transgression.
 
Of course, people who tune in can expect the usual bad jokes and awkward acceptance speeches from this weekend's telecast. We’ll see clips from shows we never got around to streaming and all kinds of virtue signaling from the woke allies in show business, along with the requisite memorials for the stars who departed since Emmy last.
 
Conspicuously absent, though, will be much deserved recognition for the finest actors, choreographers, singers, dancers and other artists of the small screen. When will the Academy bestow its honors on the people who deserve awards the most?
 
Which people? Glad you asked. Here are the new awards they should add immediately to this year's show:

  1. Best adaptation of an iconic rock ballad to sell drugs for cholesterol, age spots, or opioid induced constipation.   (Does iTunes take returns?)

  2. Best casting of people who think a Chevy and a Mercedes are the same car. (Omigod, the Cruze has four tires, too???)

  3. Best choreography for people dancing through the park and high-fiving strangers after filling their prescriptions. (Cannabis, we presume?)

  4. Best set design for erectile dysfunction ads, including most creative use of a football and tire swing. (Hmmm…what are they trying to say here?)

  5. Most humiliating performance by an aging idol who gets paired with a cartoon character to sell insurance. (Just to be clear, it’s often more humiliating for the cartoon character than for the aging idol.)

  6. Best dramatic performance by a woman in a furniture store ad who seems to achieve sexual release as she says, “and a free love seat!!!!” (I’ll have what she’s having.)

  7. Most calming explanation of lethal, fatal, and otherwise deadly drug side effects. (Don’t worry, your results may vary.)

  8. Best Abraham Lincoln impersonation for a mattress store. (Seriously, when Abe says his greatest achievement was invention of the box spring, it brings tears to my eyes.)

  9. Best Actor in a commercial where a grandfather has to explain his asthma medicine to his grandchild. (There should also be a Best Supporting Actor award for the kid who has to keep a straight face while gramps whines about his asthma.)

  10. Best portrayal of a woman who is overjoyed that her 80-year-old husband can get it up again. (Sorry, dear, I’ll be out grocery shopping for the next four hours.)
 
These are the performances that deserve the highest accolades of the profession. Anyone can do a good job with a solid script and good direction, but only the truly great can make us lose sleep over their zits. Join our boycott and let’s ensure that they get the credit they deserve.
 
 
It would be another grievous wrong if you missed the opportunity to subscribe to our weekly calls to action at Dadwrites. Stay on the true path by clicking here to become a subscriber.



4 Comments
John T
9/22/2019 11:51:36 am

Clearly, you have too much time on your hands and you spend it watching TV.

Reply
Michael
9/23/2019 11:40:24 am

I boycotted last night, but I'll be back on the job in time for Jeopardy!

Reply
David Brimm
9/23/2019 10:04:17 am

Michael: One of your best blogs. Very clever. There also should be an award to TV viewers who have to sit through inane shows such as Naked and Afraid, where naked people put their lives (and modesty) at stake in the wilderness.

Reply
Michael
9/23/2019 11:39:12 am

Thanks. Clearly, neither of us is clever enough to make up a show like Naked and Afraid, I'd say that makes us sane, but the producers are probably raking in the proceeds.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Who writes this stuff?

    Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him. 

    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018

    Categories

    All
    Aging Gracelessly
    Coronavirus
    Dadstuff
    Holidays
    Humorish
    Lessons Learned
    Life=Biz=Life=Biz
    Stories From Life
    Why Is That?

    RSS Feed

Website by RyTech, LLC
  • Home | Dad Writes
  • What's Your Story?
  • Fun is Good!
  • Blog
  • Subscribe