I’m not going to achieve immortality, certainly not in the corporeal sense and just as unlikely by any historical measure. Maybe I’ll come up with something so incredibly smart and pithy that my quote will be in the 2138 edition of Bartlett’s, but that’s a long shot, and my back gets too sore for me to ride across Asia like Attila the Hun. Likewise, it’s too late for me to invent something earth-shaking like penicillin, the internet or Chia Pets.
Like most guys who think about their legacy and their contribution to the future, I need to scale it down. What’s the most achievable goal for being known and valued by people who have never met you—and never will? What is the equivalent of immortality for someone who will neither save the world nor blow it up? Ultimately, for me, it is to have my grandchildren tell their grandchildren about me, or at least to pass on lessons that I shared during my hour of strutting and fretting upon the stage. This is no small feat. I have repeated lessons from my dad to my children, who knew him for less time than any of us would have liked. So my father’s grandchildren are familiar with his insights and they can pass those on to their grandchildren, probably three or four decades from now. Meanwhile, I have stories to tell my grandchildren about my mother’s dad, who picked us up from school sometimes to take us to lunch at Pekin House or Kow Kow. He told me the wooden bowl story, which was definitely self-serving but one that I will repeat to the grandkids when I am in a self-preservation mood. And when I take them to lunch, I can tell them about my lunches with my grandfather. Thereby, Ben Caplan will be immortal, even though he shuffled off half a century ago. For me, having grandchildren born when I am past sixty, the challenge is daunting. With kids getting married and having children later in life, fewer of us will see grandchildren in our lifetimes, and for those who do, the connection is likely to be very brief. Great-grandchildren? Almost unheard of, and that ship has absolutely sailed for me. Thinking about children who are likely to be born around 2075, when I am closing in on 122 years old, might seem nonsensical, but it gives me purpose. If I want to have a positive impact on descendants I will never meet, I need to have a very positive impact on their grandparents, who are my grandchildren. And that is a venture that I can control, at least partially and, of course, temporarily. When they hold the last party where you are the guest of honor, you don’t get to hear what people say about you. The same holds for the life lessons learned by your great-great grandchildren. Count these among the millions of things we don’t control in this life or beyond. Still, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be working on it today. How many other posts have you read today with the secret to immortality? Probably no more than five, maybe eight at the most. That’s why it’s an incredibly brilliant decision to subscribe for all of our insights by clicking here.
3 Comments
Deni Dreazen
7/5/2020 12:18:26 pm
Opening this to see Uncle Bob's photo made my day. We shared the same grandfather...I never heard the wooden bowl story! Still, I do pass on the things I learned from both of these men. I often think of how my grandchildren will pass along their experiences with me. I hope they will tell the stories with a smile.
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Dad Writes
7/5/2020 12:34:10 pm
The wooden bowl story: A man is taking care of his father and notices that the old man has gotten less coordinated, often breaking dishes or cups. So the man makes his father a wooden bowl and the old man must eat from it while the rest of the family uses the china. One day, the man hears some noise from the basement and goes downstairs to find his own son working on a project. He asks his son what he is doing and the son says he is making a wooden bowl for when the man gets old.
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Betsy
7/7/2020 04:18:53 am
Love this. I agree. It doesn’t matter-all the things we did in life. What matters is how well we gave and received love; how we helped shape the future by our own actions and by creating thoughtful, compassionate children and grandchildren. It’s so important for us to tell them the stories of our parents and grandparents.. for those lessons learned, and in the hope that they will tell their offspring about us. I’m still mystified that I’m as old as I am. Wasn’t it just, oh, 10-12 yrs ago that I was in college????
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Who writes this stuff?Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him. Archives
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