If only Jeopardy had just one question

If Facebook workers are Metamates, what does that make the grunts at SpaceX? And speaking of Elon Musk employees…

1. Back when you had to phone the cab company to send a cab to your house, the dispatcher would swear repeatedly that the driver was just two minutes away. Those days are gone, though, because I’m using a high-tech app to order a ride, and now it’s the app that’s telling me the driver is two minutes away. Clearly, artificial intelligence is as good at lying as real humans.
   
   
2. Now that Facebook has decided to refer to employees as Metamates, isn’t it time we rebranded the workers at other big companies? Volkswagen workers would be the Recalls, Lyft drivers would be the WrongWaze, Fox News hosts would be Whatabouts, SpaceX engineers will be Muskrats…I’m beginning to like this idea more and more.
   
   
3. Remember when we were all excited by scientific progress, in the long-ago era when we were getting moon launches and flat screen TVs and Tang? Now all we get is global warming, black holes and monkey pox. It’s no wonder that scientists are getting less and less popular.
   
   
4. I used to laugh at that commercial where the woman yells that she’s fallen and she can’t get up. Now I am that commercial.
   
   
5. After Elon Musk announced he was going to buy Twitter and advance free speech, I decided to log in more regularly and see what’s what. Mostly, it’s politicians sending out the same comments on a daily or hourly basis to millions of followers while complaining that they’re being censored. I feel so bad for all of them.
   
   
6. All of us old-timers need to stop carping at young people who are staring at their screens all day. We’ve been staring at our televisions for four hours per night over at least five decades, so I’m not sure if we’re the pot or the kettle.
   
   
7. Nothing makes me feel smarter than knowing the question to a Jeopardy answer as all three contestants blank out on it. Clearly, I’d be toppling Ken Jennings if only I knew something other than the one answer per week that everyone else misses.  
   
   
8. Every time I hear an ambulance or a fire engine wailing on the street near my apartment, I feel very lucky. It’s almost as if God was sending me a reminder that I’m having a much better day than I might otherwise be having.  
   
   

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