My Lyft driver says he’s a man without a country. He immigrated from Algeria four years ago, so he can’t really think of himself as Algerian anymore, but he wasn’t born here and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever feel like he’s really an American.
I’m sure he’s not alone. Most of my five-minute chauffeurs are from somewhere else, if their accents and sense of geography are any guide, and it must be difficult to adapt to terra incognita. Fortunately, he had the perfect passenger to explain it all, offering these surefire insights for becoming so American you forget there are any other countries:
Turns out, it’s actually very easy to be a true American. Once you’re the center of the universe and the smartest guy in the room and you’ve got Big Pharma in your corner, everything kinda falls into place. Too bad my Lyft driver won’t benefit from all this incredible wisdom, though. I got out of the car after I’d only given him a few hints. He’ll never make it here, so I hope he’s smart enough to run back to Albania or Andorra or Aardvarkia or wherever he was from. I’d look it up, but I’m an American.
Next time you’re doing that rideshare thing, offer this great advice to the driver. They’ll be very grateful and want to click here to subscribe.
Who writes this stuff?
Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him.