Oprah would have loved it

Why a $5 bottle of water is worth it, the new biggest lie in business, and a fail-safe trick for turning your book into a best seller, among other tidbits for the week ahead…
 

1. Slow motion makes everything more dramatic. I look very clumsy when I’m running, but if it was in slo-mo...actually, that would be even worse. 
2. Since nobody sends checks by mail anymore, the biggest lie in business today is: “Our menu options have changed.” 
3. When I was writing Your Name Here: Guide to Life, a number of people suggested that I go on the Oprah show to promote it. They didn’t have any idea how to do this, but they were sure it was a fail-safe approach and, even better, nobody else had thought of it. I know people like to say there are no bad ideas, but, really?                          
4. I went to buy a bottle of water the other day, but the clerk told me it was more than a bottle of water; it was a “thirst moderation solution.” That would explain why it cost five bucks.
5. Headline writers are the unsung heroes of The Daily Show. Also Real Time.
6. In terms of return on investment, a master’s degree in social work is right up there with lottery tickets and collectible plates.
7. It’s so gratifying when a stereotype bites the dust, even if it’s by transference. Now, whenever people see a car weaving across several lanes at five miles an hour, they assume it’s an Uber driver.
8. When you're on a tour and the guide offers a tidbit that's not being related by other guides, is that because it's real insider stuff or just too minor to be mentioned?