Dad Writes
  • Home | Dad Writes
  • What's Your Story?
  • Fun is Good!
  • Blog
  • Subscribe

Restaurant Tours

1/27/2019

4 Comments

 
Picture


 
In honor of Restaurant Week in Chicago, we consider the lure of warm bread, half-price wine, and other ways I’m trying to turn my restaurant meals into a deductible “research expense” for this blog. What could possibly go wrong?

  1. Whenever I’m in a restaurant and they bring warm rolls to the table, my opinion of the place improves. Warm bread says, “Welcome home,” while cold bread says, “We couldn’t be bothered.”

  2. Speaking of which, I hate it when a restaurant proclaims proudly that a dish is “deconstructed.” If I wanted to put it together myself, I’d have gone to Ikea.

  3. Shouldn’t steak tartare be a lot cheaper than a hamburger, since they don’t have to cook it or slice a tomato? I suspect a pricing cartel is at work.

  4. Every so often, I’ll ask for a different table in a restaurant and they’ll tell me it’s reserved for someone else. When I call for a reservation, though, they’ll tell me they don’t hold specific tables. This is one of the many ways restaurant operators tell you they think you’re an idiot.

  5. We went to New York a while ago and a friend recommended a specific restaurant as the most romantic place she had ever been to in her life. So we went and we had dinner and it was okay, but…I think the difference was whomever she was, um, dating at the time.

  6. On half-price Mondays, you end up with a bottle of wine that costs about as much as you should have been paying the other six days of the week.

  7. Sure sign of a restaurant that’s not going to last very long: The staff wants you to know how lucky you are to be there.

  8. The best way to immunize your kids against every possible disease is to let them draw on their place mats with the restaurant’s crayons.
 
And on that appetizing note, we wish you a great week of fine dining, with warm bread, great wine and a staff that knows how to mix the *&^%($%# salad. 
 
BTW, subscriptions to dadwrites are a $99.95 value, if you could buy them in any stores, but we offer our weekly updates (today only) for free to the next 100 people who log in through this link right here, yes, this one.
 
 
 
 


4 Comments
Betsy
1/27/2019 02:16:26 pm

Totally agree #1,#3; Loved #2 and #8 is EXACTLY why i only let my kids play with crayons that were new in the little box!!!!!

Reply
Mike
1/27/2019 04:15:11 pm

I didn’t know I could get a mean at ikea

Reply
David Brimm
1/28/2019 10:48:35 am

Michael: Restaurants will be clamoring for your patronage.

Reply
Craig S Wilson link
3/3/2019 01:02:02 pm

Worst advice ever was from my piano teacher: "Rock and Roll will never last."

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Who writes this stuff?

    Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him. 

    Archives

    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018

    Categories

    All
    Aging Gracelessly
    Coronavirus
    Dadstuff
    Holidays
    Humorish
    Lessons Learned
    Life=Biz=Life=Biz
    Stories From Life
    Why Is That?

    RSS Feed

Website by RyTech, LLC
  • Home | Dad Writes
  • What's Your Story?
  • Fun is Good!
  • Blog
  • Subscribe