So Valentine’s Day is coming up and I would say that I’m panicked about what I should do, but what guy gets panicked about this before midnight on February 13?
No guy, that’s who, and I can prove it with real scientific science. According to research at the Human Genome Project, the third exon of the DLG3 gene makes it impossible for men to learn from past mistakes. That’s why we never remember to put down the seat, run the dishwasher, open the car door or order flowers. And, yes, it absolutely is in our DNA, so anyone who criticizes us for this is a hater and a geneticist.
Being a manly, man’s man, I am not doing any planning for Valentine’s Day, at least for myself. For the benefit of my millions of followers, however, I have undertaken intensive research about ways to make this VD very, very special. Just follow these three simple rules and you’ve got your own romcom, minus Drew Barrymore.
Seriously, how would you survive without our heroic rescues?
Now that you’ve learned how to be the perfect romantic partner with approximately zero effort, don’t you want to know how to win at St. Patrick’s Day? Of course, you do, so click here to subscribe.
Who writes this stuff?
Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him.