The scariest app ever devised

I can never say goodbye to all that really important stuff I never look at, and the disappointment of Act Two, among other concepts that area cluttering up my mind this week.

1. I must apologize for the gesture I made after your last comment. It was supposed to be a fist pump, but my finger slipped.
2. I read a story recently about airport tourism, which is basically people going to the airport to watch planes take off and land. Of course, that’s what all of us did in the 1970s, when we were old enough to drive, but too young to do anything interesting.
3. When we bought our new mattress, they offered us a free sleep tracking app to record when I'm sleeping, how often I get up to pee, how loudly I'm snoring...truly the most frightening "gift" I could ever receive. 
4. I rented out a storage space for all of the very important items that I must preserve for posterity, even though I haven’t looked at them for the past 30 years. Ultimately, it’s like hospice care for my garbage.
5. The other day, somebody suggested that I am very self aware. I think he meant it as a compliment, but it turns out to be more challenging than gleeful.
6. Sometimes I will get to intermission at a show and I’ll be very excited for the next act. “Wow, they’ve really put the characters in a bind here. How did they write the rest of the show to get them out of it?” And then I’ll watch the rest of the show and realize that the authors didn’t figure out a way, either.
7. Have you noticed that the people who take a week to respond to your email are very impatient when you take 10 seconds to return a text?
8. It has never been easier to find out if something is true before we pass it on to somebody else. Still, it’s much harder than simply reposting it, and we’re all so busy these days, so let the next guy figure it out.

 
 Finding the truth can be very difficult, but subscribing to dadwrites could not be easier. Just click here and join the hordes of followers who cannot wait to see what we’ll come up with next. 

---