The true path to immortality is 17 across

Why I want to be like Theda Bara, plus my brush with the most dangerous pop-up on the internet, among the items rattling around in my dormant mind these days…

1. Did you ever notice that all the really good junk food ends in an O? Cheetos, Doritos, Tostitos, Oreos, Fritos… Is there an official rating organization where the food companies apply for admission to the Esteemed Order of O? And how did pizzo miss the cut?
   
   
2. It’s my one goal in life to become the answer to a crossword puzzle clue. I want to join the ranks of Clara Bow, Ernie Els, Theda Bara, Bela Lugosi, Ruby Dee, and Isao Aoki, among the many people who will live on in the crosswords long after their careers are forgotten. Now all I need is a career.
   
   
3. I’m really upset with the airlines for their new restrictions on service animals. I was almost ready to launch my Rent-a-Python app and now they’ve killed my small business. Wait, are we still allowed to have snakes on the train?
   
   
4. From my apartment in Chicago, I can see more than 1,000 other apartments around my neighborhood. I don’t know these people, don’t know their dreams, don’t know their challenges; actually, I don’t know anything about any of them. Sometimes I think I’m pretty aware of what’s happening around me and, other times, I recognize how much I’m in the dark.
   
   
5. I used to see a guy walking down the street in a pair of flip-flops and wonder what his story was. Now I see a guy with a suit and tie and a briefcase and I wonder, what the heck is his deal?
   
   
6. The people who live next to the train tracks think they’re luckier than the people who live next to the expressway, who think they’re luckier than the people who live by the airport… We all need to feel that we’re better off than the next guy, no matter where we are in the pecking order.
   
   
7. I’ve been thinking about all those friend recommendations I get each day from Facebook. I’ve never heard of most of these people, but Mark Zuckerberg might (might????) know something I don’t. Maybe Facebook knows these people are so desperate for connections that they’ll agree to be friends with an absolute stranger. Or maybe Mr. Zuckerberg realizes that I’m just as desperate.
   
   
8. The most dangerous pop-up I’ve seen reently is the one at the top of this post, asking me if I want to banish news that doesn’t agree with my prejudices. It’s way too easy to fall into an echo chamber without thinking about it. Now we’re invited to become less informed, less open and more polarized. What could possibly go wrong?

 
We’ll never ask you to banish anyone from your news feed at Dad Writes, because we encourage our subscribers to be as well rounded as possible. Join our subscribers by clicking here and we promise to broaden your horizons, sorta.
 

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