Yeah, you think you’re a Type A, but really…

Babies in sombreros, the hot new career for binging, and a new application of the death penalty, all rattling around in my brain this week...and now in yours. Read on.
 

1. If you say you want to exceed expectations and then you succeed, didn't you merely meet expectations? 
   
   
2. There are few guarantees in life, but here’s one you can count on. When the store sign says, “Up to 70% off,” you will NOT be getting 70% off.
   
   
3. Facebook is like being on a local non-profit board. People feel empowered to become the bullies they would complain about otherwise.
   
   
4. I know a lot of people who think they have Type A personalities, but really they're just jerks.
   
   
5. I had an online conversation with a guy who said people with certain opinions should die and, when pressed, confirmed his belief that their opinions should be enough reason to inflict the ultimate punishment. Who needs foreign bots when I have “friends” like these?
   
   
6. If someone posts a picture of their baby wearing a sombrero, should we be shaming the parents or the baby, or both, for cultural appropriation? And if that kid ever wants a job, should we prevent it?
   
   
7. Almost every day, someone asks me if I’m watching to hot new show that I have never seen and never heard about on a channel I do not receive. I’m beginning to think I need a Viewing Consultant to connect me to the zeitgeist. (No, I don’t know what zeitgeist is, either, but lots of hip people say it.)
   
   
8. Some statistics seem to be meaningful at first, but then you realize they don’t say anything that you can use. The most common offenders are sports announcers, but politicians probably do more damage.

 
Subscribers are automatically forgiven for cultural appropriation, citing meaningless statistics and having, um, Type A personalities. Just click here and absolution is yours.
 

 

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